Holy crap, I'm almost 30!

So 29. TWENTY NINE. That's like thisclose to 30. THIRTY. Technically, I know I'm not old. My problem is that I remember sitting at my kitchen table during my senior year at OU with Meghan, talking about how much money we'll be making once we have real jobs, "even if it's just like $18k!" Irony strikes again. Obviously, that idea was wrong, but for once, I'm not complaining about being broke.

I've been out of high school for 10 years. I've been out of college for 6 years. I've been a mom for 3 years. Where has the time gone?

It seriously seems like yesterday that Krys and I drove down 13 with our heads out the windows, sporting sunglasses, while the rain pelted us in the face (at the time, we thought we were cool/funny - now I find that just plain uncomfortable and frankly, dangerous). I remember my first weekend at OU, walking uptown, free of parental control, wondering what the hell to do with myself. After what seemed like a really cool week later, I remember walking uptown after my college graduation, wondering wtf I was going to do with myself. Shortly thereafter, I remember driving to Charlotte with Krys and Amber, prepping myself for the "real world" in Florida. I met friends, became an "adult," had (too much) fun, and before I knew it, I was 25, able to rent a car legally. Next came Olivia, which is my greatest accomplishment yet (and will remain to be, until/unless I have more children, in which case they'll be pretty impressive too, I'm sure).

What happened to the times when I longed to be an adult? Isn't it funny how life works? I remember being so insulted by the label of "kid." I formed clubs, renouncing this label, working to show all the adults of the world how important and impactful we as "children" could be. Now, I'm constantly reminding myself not to "wish my life away" (a quote of my mama's) b/c time goes way too fast.

I've had some interesting birthdays. On my 10th birthday, my parents planned a huge surprise where the party started at my grandparents and moved to my house where they would unveil my new bedroom suite. Instead, my dad and grandpa got into a fist fight and the only thing I remember after that was my mom crying, and me crying, but in separate areas as to make sure we didn't make the other one feel worse. Then there was my 16th, which consisted of a surprise party by my mom, where a ton of people showed up only to be dead silent when I walked into the room. Already awkward enough at that age, it was ... well, it was something. 21. I remember that, but not completely (for obvious reasons). When I turned 23, it was my first birthday in Jax, and I didn't have many friends. I had escargo for the first time (not that bad, I'd probably eat it again if someone else paid) and hung out with people I knew from work (who were more than wonderful to put such an effort up for someone they knew so little about). Then the big one - 26. This was big for me because it was the first birthday I had as a mom. And contrary to my previous beliefs ("The fun part of my life is over once I become a mom!!!"), it was (and continues to be) my most favorite birthday ever. Not only could I celebrate MY years, but I could celebrate Olivia's life, which pretty much would have been impossible if it weren't for yours truly (and you are welcome, to all the future generations that my daughter will positively impact). Thanks to social networking (myspace) and some awesome friends (Chas and Amber), I had one of the most spectacular birthdays ever, even tho it mostly consisted of me sitting in my apartment, being a new mom, and welcoming old friends into our world (complete with a tampon for a candle in the cake that they brought - class, nothin' but).

I've heard from numerous people that 30s are fantastic. Supposedly, you're more secure as a person - socially, financially, professionally, spiritually, etc. I have my fingers crossed that all that is true for me. But let's back it up - technically, I'm 29, not 30. I still have one year left of my 20s... what to do with it.....

When I first thought about this question, to be honest, I thought I'd have a lot of things on my "Things To Do Before I'm 30" list. Surprisingly (and wonderfully), I feel complete. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Isn't that incredible?

I made it through high school and somehow escaped my parents' crappy marriage for the most part unscathed. I graduated from OU. I moved away. I moved back. I have a great job. I have the uber most awesome kid I know (that came from ME). I have a spectacular boyfriend (even tho I like to complain about him). I have a fantastic support system that a lot of people lack. I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve all of this, but I believe that for the most part, I earned it. Life is hard. Life is not fair. Life is not what we think it will be. But opportunities are there. Hard work does pay off. Karma is a bitch, but only if you're a bitch to karma first.

I can't say I've been perfect. I can't say my life has been easy 100% of the time. I can say that I worked my balls off for what I have and the things that fell into my lap without planning turned out to be blessings after all. I'm proud to say that I have made decisions (some very hard decisions) that have allowed me to have a stellar life, to accomodate my basic needs while continuing on the amazing journey that has been my life.

I think everyone has a book they should write. I don't know anyone that doesn't have a story to tell, a miracle to talk about, an incredible series of events that should be documented. And thinking back on my last 29 years, I am lucky - uniquely blessed.

When I was around 7 years old, I remember sitting in the laudrymat parking lot in my mom's car, creating my long term plan (yep, psycho since birth). I wanted to be 5'6, 125 lbs, blonde, professionally successful, independent, and family oriented. At that point, I had no idea what life would be like - or what I was capable of. And yet, ironically (in a good way), I am all the things I planned on being - independent; professionally successful; not bad looking (altho anymore, that means a lot less to me than it did back when Barbie played a major role in my life); family oriented; and most importantly, HAPPY. I really am happy.

I'm not thrilled that times goes by so quickly - it's nice to just savor those moments sometimes, ya know? But I have no complaints. I have bills. I struggle with balancing my professional life with my personal life. I miss living near my friends. I think my family's a ton more crazy now than when I was 7. But all in all, I've done a damn good job. Look out 29, here I come!